I don't know what's wrong with me.
- Me: What are you doing?
- Cousin: I'm lying here hugging my cold water bottle.
- Me: At least it's not a cold corpse.
- Cousin: That's just gross.
Mom thinks I look horrible today…
Mom: Jeff, go take a shower so you feel fresh.
Me: I’m always fresh.
Mom: No, you look like you are…
At this point her voice just trailed off because she was walking away.
I guess I look like crap… but I’m sick!
Phone Convo w/ Mom (paraphrase)
- Me: Can you email me the phone numbers?
- Mom: I'll just give it to you.
- Me: Can you email it?
- Mom: Ok, I'll text you.
- Me: Can you just email it?
- Mom: Ok!
Overheard Wisdom
- Her (talking about baking): When you start to smell it, you know it's almost ready to come out.
- Him: Like farts.
Carpet - More Fun With Frugal Asian Parents
A while ago, mom and dad had some remodeling work done at home which included new carpet in their bedroom (most of the house’s carpet was replaced with tile) and new furniture in the living room. I came home to visit for the weekend and saw the couches that I had grown up with sitting outside on the lawn. Mom was really proud that these pieces had lasted more than twenty years.
I went to their bedroom to see the carpet. It was thick, fluffy, and soft. Mom said she wanted this carpet to last 20 years too.
And then she proceeded to instruct me to zig zag when I come into their room so as to reduce the wear and tear on the carpet. She’d also be rearranging the furniture every now and then too.
I laughed, not sure whether or not mom was serious.
Dad chimed in and suggested that mom sleep in the living room because that would also reduce wear and tear on the bedroom carpet.
Mom didn’t seem too keen on that idea.
Guess Mom Was Worried About Pathophys
Yesterday I had my Pathophysiology final exam. The policy is that as long as you pass the final with a 65%, then you pass the course. If you don’t get below 65% on the final, then they will average all the scores, with the final weighing 40% of your grade and the average must be above 65%
The test was 120 questions and we were given 5 hours. It started at 9:00 AM and we were given 60 questions and 2.5 hours to complete it. We had to come back at 1:00 PM for the second.
After the test my brain was a wreck. I couldn’t think and it was hard for me to get studying for the next exam (Pharmacology). Well the posted the scores later that night and I passed it.
Today I messaged mom on Yahoo:
Me: so i passed the hardest class in 2nd year
Mom: thank GOd
Yeah.. So I guess she was worried about it.
How're you doing today?
- Me: How're you doing today?
- Patient: Oh, can't complain.
- Me: That's good.
- Patient: No one listens to me!
- Me: Oh... well that's not good.
- I love patients with a sense of humor. Well, I hope my patient was just joking...
Think I Pissed My Sister Off
- Sister: Could you donate to the Leanna wants to go home for [friend's] graduation fund?
- Me: What?
- Me: How many donors have you found?
- Sister: Just myself lol
- Me: lol
- Me: I see
- Me: If I win tonight's jackpot I'll fly you home.
- Sister: What a great way to turn someone down.
- Me: I'm creative like that.
- I probably could have done without sending that last text. Needless to say, she hasn't replied to me since she read it. In my defense I wasn't sure if her last comment was sent jokingly.
A Phone Conversation (As Relayed To Me)
Mom: Your brother looked like hell.
Sister: What? He told you that?
Mom: Yeah.
Sister: When?!?
Mom: On Twitter.
This was shortly after I had learned mom had figured out how to read my Twitter timeline.
Good Things Do Come To Those Who Wait
- Cousin: We're going to the grocery store, you want anything?
- Me: .... (thinking)
- Cousin: Your sister wanted some Orange Crush floats. You want some when we get back?
- Me: ... (thinking again)
- Cousin: Ok, well you have to have some. You have no choice.
- At this point my cousin leaves. And as I type this they are going to the grocery store. That's how I scored some Orange Crush floats tonight. Because I take too long to think before answering, I end up not having a choice. In this case, I just HAVE to indulge myself in some sugary, orange goodness. I'll use it as my study break.
