Old Friends
I totally suck at keeping up old friendships. I just don’t keep them up very well.
I remember talking to a close friend of mine in high school as we were approaching graduation. He told me he hoped we’d stay good friends. I assured him we would. After graduation I never talked to him for quite a while. Eventually I saw him when we both came back to the high school to watch a varsity volleyball game. We said hello. We were friendly. And that was that.
I guess I was wrong.
A few years ago I found a quote by W. Somerset Maugham that I added to my now 51-page Word document of quotes. The quote goes as follows:
It’s no good trying to keep up old friendships. It’s painful for both sides. The fact is, one grows out of people, and the only thing is to face it.
I thought it to be a sad quote. I didn’t like the sentiment. But knowing my own personality and my own track record, I kind of just accepted it as a sad fact of life.
Shortly after finding that quote about friendship by Maugham, I emailed the quote to my cousin, ananiacal, and asked her what she thought of it. I saved the response she sent to me. I’ll share parts of that email reply:
…maybe I just don’t want to believe it like you said… but I think sometimes you can still keep old friendships, as long as you do allow for change… the problem with old friendships comes when you expect that they’ll be the same… and if it’s an old friendship… then maybe it’s no longer a friendship at all… I think or maybe I just hope that friendships can grow with you… and they don’t necessarily have to be old in the sense that they are in the past… just old ‘cause they’ve lasted that long..
She’s pretty deep, isn’t she?
It’s no good trying to keep up old friendships. It’s painful for both sides. The fact is, one grows out of people, and the only thing is to face it.
